What to Say to an Employee Struggling at Work (Australia): Manager Scripts, Boundaries and Escalation

Most managers and HR leaders will eventually notice someone who is not themselves at work: a change in attendance, responsiveness, mood, quality, or conflict levels. These signs are real, but they are not a diagnosis. They can also reflect work factors such as workload, role clarity, poor support, conflict, bullying, fatigue, or organisational change.

Many organisations still only detect psychological risk after harm has already occurred, for example after a breakdown in performance, a formal complaint, an injury, or unplanned leave. A more protective approach is to pay attention to leading indicators: the early emotional and behavioural signals that pressure is building, and that psychosocial hazards may be present.

In Australia, psychological health is increasingly treated as part of core WHS and people management practice, with regulators providing guidance on managing psychosocial hazards and consultation. A supportive, well-boundaried conversation is often the most practical first step: it can reduce stigma, prompt early help-seeking, and identify work changes that reduce risk. Regular, lightweight check-ins, including daily emotional check-ins where appropriate for the role and team, can help managers and organisations notice patterns early (for example rising distress, withdrawal, irritability, or sustained overload) before they escalate into burnout or safety incidents.

This article gives manager-ready scripts and a repeatable structure you can use to check in, set boundaries, offer work-based support, document appropriately, and escalate when risk is higher. It is general information, not legal advice.

A manager-ready conversation checklist (LIFT in practice)

Use this as a one-page flow. It is based on the internal LIFT approach: Listen, Inquire, Find, Thank.

1. Prepare: choose a private setting, identify 2 to 3 observable work examples, confirm support options (EAP, leave pathway, HR/WHS contacts).
2. Open: ask permission, set a respectful tone, state your purpose.
3. Observations: describe what you have noticed at work, without labels or assumptions.
4. Listen and inquire: ask open questions, pause, reflect back what you heard.
5. Find a way forward: agree on 1 to 3 practical work steps and support options.
6. Thank and close: acknowledge their effort, confirm boundaries, re-establish comfort, schedule the next check-in.
7. Document: brief, factual notes and agreed actions.
8. Follow up: do what you said you would do, on time.
9. Escalate if needed: if risk rises, shift to a higher-safety response (ACT) and involve the right people.

Note: LIFT works best when it is not only triggered by “red flags”. Proactive managers build in small, regular check-ins so early emotional signals are easier to notice and address. This can also strengthen psychological safety because support becomes normal, not exceptional.

Two scripts you can reuse (opener + confidentiality boundary)

Opener (permission + observation):
“Have you got 15 minutes for a private chat? I want to check in. I’ve noticed you’ve seemed under a lot of pressure lately and a couple of deadlines have slipped. How are you going?”

Confidentiality boundary (clear, not absolute):
“I’ll keep this as private as I can. If I’m worried there’s a serious risk of harm to you or someone else, or if we need to involve others to organise support at work, I may need to share limited information on a need-to-know basis. Where possible, I’ll talk with you first about what happens next.”

Before you speak: prepare for a safe conversation

Choose the right time and place

• Pick a quiet room or a scheduled call where the employee cannot be overheard.
• Avoid corridors, kitchens, or walking meetings unless the employee requests it.
• Allow enough time so you are not rushing.
• If remote, ask about privacy: “Are you somewhere you can talk freely?” If not, offer alternatives: “No problem. Do you want to move somewhere else, or should we schedule a time that suits?”

Separate observations from judgments (a simple template)

A quick template that keeps you grounded and fair:

• What I observed (facts): “In the last two weeks, X happened…”
• Impact at work: “This has affected Y…”
• Invitation: “How are you going, and what would help at work?”

Examples:

• Fact: “You have been late three times this fortnight and missed the last two stand-ups.”
• Impact: “It has made it hard to coordinate tasks and has increased rework.”
• Invitation: “How are you travelling? Is anything making work harder right now?”

Tip: When teams use short, regular emotional check-ins (even a simple “How are you travelling today, and what’s one thing impacting your workload?”), it becomes easier to move from vague impressions to patterns over time. Patterns are often the earliest warning that psychosocial hazards like sustained overload, low role clarity, or unresolved conflict are taking hold.

Consider immediate safety and fitness-for-work issues

If you have signs of acute distress, impairment, or potential violence or self-harm, do not treat it as a routine check-in. Move to the escalation section in this article and follow your organisation’s safety procedures (including contacting 000 in an emergency). Safety comes first.

A simple structure you can use in most situations (LIFT)

L: Listen (with “empathic presence”)

Plain English: be fully present, slow down, and make space for their response.

What to say and do:

• “Take your time.”
• “Silence is okay.”
• Use attentive body language and avoid multitasking.

I: Inquire (open questions, then reflect)

Use open questions that stay work-relevant and do not pry:

• “How have things been for you over the last few weeks?”
• “What’s been the hardest part at work recently?”
• “Is there anything about workload, role clarity, or team dynamics that’s getting in the way?”

If your organisation uses regular check-ins (including daily emotional check-ins in high-pressure teams), you can also reference the pattern you are seeing without sounding like you are monitoring the person:

• “I’ve noticed you’ve flagged ‘overloaded’ a few times this week and you seem more stretched in meetings. What’s driving it, and what would help at work?”

The Empathy Staircase (a micro-checklist managers can follow)

If you are not sure what to do next, move up one step at a time:

1. Silence: pause and let them think.
2. Repeat: “So you’re saying you feel like you cannot catch up.”
3. Paraphrase: “It sounds like the volume and urgency have ramped up, and you’re carrying it mostly solo.”
4. Check the feeling/need (without sounding clinical): “It sounds overwhelming. Are you needing clearer priorities or more support to get through this week?”

F: Find a way forward (practical work actions, not counselling)

Aim for a small plan that reduces immediate strain and clarifies expectations.

• “What would make work more manageable over the next week or two?”
• “Let’s choose the top two priorities and park the rest.”
• “Would it help to bring HR in to support adjustments or leave options?”

A strong “Find” is specific: who does what, by when, and what you will review.

Where possible, treat agreed actions as risk controls, then review whether they are working. If the team is seeing repeated signs of strain across multiple people through regular check-ins, that is useful data that the hazard may be systemic (for example chronic workload, staffing gaps, or unclear priorities), not just individual.

T: Thank and close (re-establish comfort, confirm next steps)

Close clearly and kindly:

• “Thanks for telling me. I know that can be hard.”
• “To recap, we agreed A, B, and C. I’ll do X today, and you’ll do Y by Wednesday.”
• “Let’s check in again on Thursday at 2 pm.”
• “If things get worse before then, please tell me, or contact [EAP/GP/support]. If you feel unsafe, call 000.”

For early detection, the follow-up is not optional. A short, consistent rhythm of check-ins (sometimes daily for a short period during high strain) can help spot whether the trend is improving, flat, or worsening, and whether escalation is needed.

What to say (and when): manager scripts that work

Use fewer, stronger lines. The key is observable work impacts, open questions, and practical next steps.

1) If they say “I’m fine”

When to use: they are guarded, or you suspect low trust/stigma.

• “Okay, I’ll take you at your word. I’m still checking in because I’ve noticed some changes at work.”
• “You do not have to share personal details. Is anything affecting your capacity at work that we should plan for?”
• “Would it help if we just reset priorities for this week and see if that reduces pressure?”
• “How about we touch base again in a couple of days?”

If you rely on early signals (rather than waiting for a crisis), it is normal to have a few brief check-ins like this. The goal is to surface risks early, not to force disclosure.

2) If they disclose a mental health issue

When to use: they share a diagnosis, symptoms, treatment, or distress.

• “Thank you for trusting me with that.”
• “You do not need to give me details. What would be helpful for me to understand about how this affects you at work?”
• “What support do you already have outside work, like a GP?”
• “We can look at practical adjustments at work, and we also have EAP if you want it.”

If they overshare:

• “I’m really sorry you’re going through this. To make sure I support you appropriately, can we focus on what’s happening at work and what changes would help day-to-day?”

If they ask you to promise secrecy:

• “I understand why you’d want that. I cannot promise absolute confidentiality, but I will keep it as private as I can and only share what is necessary for safety or to organise workplace support. Where possible, I’ll discuss it with you first.”

3) If they become angry, tearful, or shut down

When to use: heightened emotion, escalation, or withdrawal.

• “I can see this is really hard right now. We can slow down.”
• “Would you like a short break, or a glass of water?”
• “We do not have to solve everything today. Let’s focus on one next step.”

Turning the conversation into practical workplace support (the “Find” menu)

Many managers default to “use EAP” because it is available. EAP can help, but effective support also includes work design changes that reduce psychosocial risk at the source. Australian guidance on psychosocial hazards emphasises identifying hazards, assessing risk, implementing controls, and reviewing them (similar to other WHS risks).

Leading indicators matter here. If you only act once people are already unwell or on leave, you are managing consequences, not risk. Early emotional signals, captured respectfully through regular check-ins, can prompt earlier controls, such as workload resets, clarified priorities, conflict resolution, and additional support during change.

Practical options mapped to common work problems

Use this table to move from “check-in” to “action”.

Work problem you can observe	Possible work adjustment or control (examples)	Follow-up timing (guide only)
Deadlines slipping, errors increasing, concentration issues	Reduce concurrent tasks, break work into smaller steps, introduce checklists, pair on complex tasks, temporarily adjust targets, add QA support	1 to 3 days if strain is high, otherwise 1 week
Working long hours, fatigue, signs of overload	Reset priorities, cap overtime, enforce breaks, redistribute workload, reduce after-hours contact, plan leave	1 to 2 days initially if fatigue risk, then weekly
Confusion about expectations or decisions	Clarify “must do” vs “can wait”, define what “good” looks like, confirm decision rights, provide written summaries	Within 2 to 5 days
Social withdrawal, conflict, team friction	Increase supportive check-ins, mediate early, clarify behaviours expected, address incivility, consider role separation while issues are assessed	Within 1 to 3 days if conflict is escalating
Bullying, harassment, aggression exposure, or unsafe interactions	Use formal reporting and WHS/HR pathways, separate parties if needed, implement risk controls, consult affected workers	Same day if safety risk, otherwise within 24 to 72 hours
Remote isolation, poor responsiveness, visibility gap	Schedule short structured check-ins, buddy system, clear response-time norms, ensure workload visibility, improve team connection	1 to 3 days

Notes:

• Adjustments can be temporary or longer-term. Focus on what helps the person meet the inherent requirements of the role.
• If changes impact the rest of the team, assess and manage flow-on workload or fairness risks.
• In teams with daily emotional check-ins, repeated “high strain” signals across multiple people can be a prompt to review staffing, deadlines, role clarity, and change load. That is often how burnout is detected earlier, before it turns into absence or injury.

Closing script that locks in action

“Here’s what I’m hearing: the workload and lack of clear priorities have made it hard to keep up. For the next two weeks, we’ll narrow priorities to A and B, move C to next month, and I’ll send written instructions for the client deliverables. Let’s check in on Thursday to see how it’s going.”

How to talk about performance without punishing disclosure

A supportive conversation is not the same as a performance process, but performance still matters. The aim is to stay fair, clear, and consistent, while offering support and adjustments where appropriate.

Principles that keep you on track

• Separate the person from the standard: be respectful about the employee, clear about expectations.
• Stay specific: discuss work outputs and behaviours, not assumed causes.
• Offer support and a pathway: adjustments, clarity, training, or resourcing.
• Keep records: factual notes of issues raised and support offered.
• Avoid retaliatory tone: disclosure should not trigger threats or humiliation.

Scripts for the hard moment

• “I want to talk about two things together: how you’re going, and the impact on deadlines and quality. The standard still matters, and I also want to understand what support or changes would help you meet it.”
• “You do not need to share personal information. What I do need to understand is what is affecting your capacity at work and what adjustments might help.”
• “If we cannot meet the deadlines with the current setup, we will need to change the plan. Let’s work out the most workable option.”

If they refuse help:

• “That’s your choice. I will still work with you on clear priorities and expectations, and we will review progress on [date]. If anything changes, support is available.”

What not to say (and why)

These are common phrases that can increase shame, reduce disclosure, or create unnecessary risk.

Minimising, comparisons, or forced positivity

Avoid:

• “Everyone’s stressed.”
• “Just push through.”
• “When I was in your role…”
  Why: it signals their experience is not legitimate and can shut the conversation down.

Diagnosing or labelling

Avoid:

• “You’re depressed.”
• “You’re burnt out.”
• “You need medication.”
  Why: managers are not clinicians. Stick to observable work impacts and the employee’s own words.

Ultimatums or absolute confidentiality guarantees

Avoid:

• “If you can’t cope, maybe this job isn’t for you.”
• “This stays 100% confidential no matter what.”
  Why: ultimatums escalate distress; absolute guarantees may be impossible if safety risk emerges.

Escalation and urgent action (Australia): a tiered response

Use a simple three-tier approach. If you are uncertain, choose the safer option and involve HR/WHS.

A useful way to think about escalation is through leading indicators: frequency, intensity, and persistence of distress signals. The earlier you respond to patterns, the easier it is to prevent burnout, reduce psychosocial hazard exposure, and maintain psychological safety.

Tier 1: Concern (use LIFT)

Use when: changes in attendance, mood, quality, withdrawal, or conflict, but no indication of immediate harm.
Actions: private check-in, work-based supports, EAP/GP option, follow-up scheduled.

In some teams, Tier 1 is where daily emotional check-ins are most helpful for a short period. They can show whether supports are working and can alert you early if the situation is deteriorating, without waiting for a major incident.

Tier 2: High concern (shift to ACT)

ACT stands for Assess, Collaborate, Timely follow-up. Use when: the employee expresses hopelessness, talks about not being able to go on, seems unable to cope, is highly agitated, or you suspect self-harm risk.

When to ask direct harm questions: when you have a genuine concern about safety, not as a routine wellness question.

Internal direct questions (verbatim):

• “Have you thought about harming yourself or others?”
• “How often have you thought about this?”
• “To what extent have you planned out these thoughts/feelings?”

How to think about “serious risk” in plain terms (internal framing):

• Severity: how harmful could it be?
• Frequency: how often is it happening?
• Escalation: is it getting worse or more intense?

Actions (high level, organisation-agnostic):

• Do not leave the person alone if you are concerned for safety.
• Collaborate on immediate supports: a trusted person, urgent GP/mental health service, safe transport.
• Escalate internally on a need-to-know basis to HR/WHS (and security if relevant).
• Set follow-up sooner rather than later (often within 1 to 2 days as practice guidance, sooner if risk is escalating).

If your organisation has trained peer supporters or mental health first responders, Tier 2 is often an appropriate time to involve them (with the employee’s knowledge where possible). This can reduce isolation and create a faster support pathway while HR/WHS address work factors.

Tier 3: Immediate danger (emergency response)

Use when: there is an immediate threat to life or safety, a stated plan and intent, severe impairment, violence risk, or a medical emergency.

Actions:

• Call 000.
• Stay with the person (or ensure they are supervised) until help arrives, where safe to do so.
• Follow internal emergency and incident reporting processes.
• Notify HR/WHS/senior leader as required on a need-to-know basis.

Documentation: what to write, what not to write

Managers often avoid notes because it feels awkward. A short, factual note protects continuity of care and supports follow-through.

A simple documentation rule

Record: observations, work impacts, agreed actions, and follow-up.
Avoid: diagnoses, speculation, or unnecessary personal details.

Good notes (examples)

• “3 Mar, 2 pm. Met privately with employee. Discussed observed missed deadlines (Project X milestones 2 and 3) and increased late starts (3 in past fortnight). Employee reported feeling overwhelmed. Agreed: reprioritise to tasks A and B, reassign task C for two weeks, daily 10-minute check-in at 9:15 am, employee to contact EAP. Review meeting booked 6 Mar.”
• “Employee requested flexibility for medical appointments. Agreed temporary start time shift 10 am to 6 pm for two weeks, to be reviewed.”

Where daily or regular emotional check-ins are used, avoid recording sensitive “emotion labels” in a way that feels like surveillance of individuals. Focus documentation on what is needed for safety and support: work impacts, actions taken, and whether risk is increasing or decreasing. For organisational risk management, look at de-identified trends and patterns.

Risky notes (examples to avoid)

• “Employee is depressed and unstable.”
• “Clearly having a breakdown, probably due to marriage problems.”
• “Employee said they’re on meds and has a personality disorder.”
• “Not coping. Needs therapy.”

Where to keep notes (general guidance)

• Use your organisation’s approved HR or WHS recordkeeping system.
• Avoid keeping sensitive details in personal notebooks or informal chat threads.
• Limit access to those who need the information to implement support or manage safety.

Special scenarios (quick scripts)

Remote or hybrid worker who seems to be withdrawing

• “Are you somewhere you can talk privately?”
• “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter in meetings and harder to reach. How are you going?”
• “Would it help to set a short check-in at the start of each day this week to reduce ambiguity and keep workload manageable?”
  If they cannot talk: “No worries. What time today suits, and is there a channel that feels safest for you?”

If your team uses daily emotional check-ins during busy periods, remote workers can particularly benefit because it reduces invisibility and helps you detect early signs of overload or disengagement before performance or wellbeing deteriorates.

When the problem is caused by work (psychosocial hazards)

• “If any part of this is about workload, role clarity, conflict, or behaviour from others, I want to understand that. It is okay to raise work issues.”
• “What specifically at work is making it harder?”
• “With your permission, I may need to involve HR/WHS so we can address the work factors and reduce risk.”

If similar concerns are appearing across multiple check-ins, treat that as a signal to assess the hazard at a team or job design level, not only case-by-case. Early detection here can prevent escalation into bullying complaints, burnout, or incidents.

Substance use or impairment concerns

Keep it safety and procedure focused:

• “I’m concerned about your safety to work right now based on what I’m observing. I’m going to pause your tasks for today and follow our fitness-for-work process. Let’s organise safe transport and work out next steps.”
  Do not debate causes. Document the observable signs and actions taken.

Manager self-management after the conversation

• Debrief appropriately (your manager, HR/WHS, EAP), sharing only what is needed.
• Be clear about your role: support at work, reduce risk, connect to help. You are not providing clinical care.
• Do not forget follow-through. The fastest way to lose trust is to promise action and not deliver it.
• If you are using regular check-ins as an early signal approach, keep them respectful, consistent, and time-bounded. The intent is to spot patterns early and reduce risk, not to micromanage.

CONCLUSION
What you say to an employee struggling at work should be simple, human, and work-relevant: describe what you have observed, ask how they are going, listen and validate, and agree on practical next steps. Use LIFT for most situations, and shift to ACT when risk is higher. Keep confidentiality clear but not absolute, document briefly and factually, and follow up when you said you would.

Many workplaces only act once distress has already caused harm. Using leading indicators, including regular and sometimes daily emotional check-ins during high-pressure periods, can help detect burnout earlier, identify psychosocial hazards sooner, enable timely peer support or mental health first responders, and strengthen psychological safety by normalising early help-seeking and practical work adjustments.

FAQ

1) What are the best opening lines to check in with an employee who seems to be struggling?

Use privacy, permission, and observable work impacts: “Have you got 15 minutes for a private chat? I’ve noticed you seem under a lot of pressure and a couple of deadlines have slipped. How are you going?”

2) What if they insist they’re fine, but I’m still concerned?

Acknowledge it and keep the door open: “Okay, I’ll take you at your word. I’m still concerned based on what I’ve noticed at work.” Offer a practical step (reset priorities, adjust deadlines) and schedule a follow-up check-in within a few days. If pressure seems persistent, consider a short run of brief daily check-ins to see whether the signal improves or escalates.

3) What should I avoid saying so I don’t sound like I’m diagnosing them?

Avoid labels and assumptions (“You’re depressed”, “You’re burnt out”), minimising (“Everyone’s stressed”), and advice that replaces listening (“Just exercise more”). Stick to observable work changes, open questions, and collaborative work-based options.

4) How do I talk about performance issues while still being supportive?

Be clear and respectful: “The standard still matters, and I also want to understand what’s affecting your capacity and what adjustments or support would help you meet it.” Agree on a short plan, document actions, and review progress on a set date.

5) What are examples of reasonable adjustments for stress or mental health at work in Australia?

Common examples include temporary workload reduction, breaking tasks into smaller steps, flexible start and finish times, time for appointments, clearer written instructions, more frequent check-ins, quieter workspace arrangements, work-from-home where suitable, and a phased return after leave. Adjustments should be tailored, trialled, and reviewed.

6) How much can I promise about confidentiality, and who can I tell?

Do not promise absolute confidentiality. A practical boundary is: you will keep it as private as you can, but you may share limited information on a need-to-know basis for safety or to implement workplace support, ideally after discussing it with the employee.

7) When should I escalate to HR/WHS or seek urgent help (including calling 000)?

Escalate to HR/WHS when there is a safety concern, a psychosocial hazard that needs action (bullying, aggression, extreme fatigue), complex support needs, or a performance-health intersection requiring process guidance. Call 000 if there is immediate danger to the person or others, or a medical emergency. Do not leave a person alone if you believe they are at risk.

8) How should I document the conversation, and what details should I avoid recording?

Document date, attendees, observable work impacts, what the employee said in general terms (without medical detail), agreed actions, and follow-up time. Avoid diagnoses, speculation, and unnecessary personal information. Store notes in your organisation’s approved HR/WHS system, not informal channels.

9) How do I support someone working remotely who seems to be withdrawing?

Name specific observations and check privacy first: “Are you somewhere you can talk freely?” Offer structure: short daily check-ins for a week, clearer written priorities, workload visibility, and a buddy system. If they cannot talk safely, schedule a time and channel that works for them.

10) What if the problem is caused by work (workload, bullying, role conflict) rather than personal issues?

Treat it as a work issue, not an individual weakness. Ask: “What at work is contributing?” Then use your formal pathways to address hazards (HR/WHS, consultation, risk controls). Where necessary, separate affected parties and implement interim controls while the issue is assessed. If the same themes are showing up repeatedly in check-ins across the team, treat that as an early warning to review job design, resourcing, and team norms before the risk escalates. \n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nQuick Answer: Speak privately and respectfully, starting with observable work impacts: “I’ve noticed you seem under a lot of pressure and a few deadlines have slipped. How are you going?” Listen and validate, ask what would help at work, and agree on a practical next step and follow-up. Keep confidentiality clear but not absolute, and escalate quickly if there is any safety risk.